The Curse of the Magical Girl: Chapter 1

By: D. R. Nyan-chan

Chapter 1: Bonky Bunny and the Mysterious Shadows

Fog.  Thick, dense fog as far as the eye could see.  That was the best way to describe the view from Siete Altar.  The altar itself was a stone circular dais about 10 ft. in diameter with seven equally placed square boulders surrounding its circumference.  Atop each boulder, a small entity resided, their figures distorted by the semi-opaque mist.

“Our hope is wan-ing,” one of the figures said.

“Things are not as bleak as they seem,” another figure replied in a deadpan tone.

“We still have a chance to pyon things around-pyon-pyon,” a third jumped in.

“Nyow is the time for us to act.  The time has finyally come to rescue him-nya,” a fourth mewed.

“Not on our ownsies, we were able to locate our chosen ones, but we have to hurry before the meany shadows interfere, tee hee,” a cheery voice added.

“A-agreed, the time t-to move is now-nezu.  S-Snuffles, our hope now rests with you.  P-please do your best-nezu,” a sixth shyly stated. The meeting was immediately adjourned as one of the figures hopped away.

===========================

In an alternate, but parallel time and space, two figures were meeting in a very dimly lit room.  One was behind a desk in a high quality office chair.  Not even the tall chair could mask the figure’s lofty, bulky stature.  The other figure was much shorter, stockier, and maybe even a little pudgy.  

“This is not the best time, Dr. Strudelclonker.  Whatever reason you have for being here had better be good,” the larger figure snapped in a harsh whisper.

“A potential threat has come to our attention Mr. Derris,” Dr. Strudelclonker whispered back in a concerned tone.  “If my hunch is right, we may need to step in and fix things.  The circumstances are truly unprecedented and I can’t understate the threat that could be posed to what we have worked so hard to accomplish.”

As the two began to converse, an eye opened from within the shadows in the far corner of the room and gazed curiously at them.  This eye was not human in the slightest.  It was large with six small, red irises surrounding a much larger iris of the same crimson hue.  Each of the smaller irises had a vertical slit for a pupil while the larger one had three of the same with the two, smaller, outer pupils on both sides of a larger central one.  The sclera was dark purple instead of white.

“Fine, let’s hear it,” Mr. Derris quietly grumbled as Dr. Strudelclonker began to softly explain, careful not to incur his boss’s wrath.

“My information is somewhat limited right now, but I have already sent Dr. Miller to check on things…”

As Dr. Strudelclonker continued, the strange eye in the corner shadows excreted a teardrop of blood as a sinister smile of extremely sharp teeth and fangs formed below it.

===========================

On a humble farm in the outskirts of the backwater village of Kaninchen, a portly, middle-aged man with blue eyes, a thin layer of dark brown hair, and a bit of stubble on his chin set out to start his chores for the day.  Wearing a red and white plaid shirt, stained and faded blue jean overalls, and brown work boots, Archibald Ralphentine, or Archie as he was known to his friends, set out to check the nets he had set the previous night to deal with the pests that were plaguing his farm.  For the past several days, the local rabbits had been treating his field like an all-you-can-eat buffet.  After having ruled out the presence of burrows among the crops, Archie had set up long nets along the perimeter of his rows of carefully cultivated vegetables to catch or at least deter the vermin from taking what he had worked so hard to grow.

After inspecting most of the nets and finding nothing, Archie heard signs of a small animal struggling.  He was a little surprised by what he saw.  Caught in a tree branch next to the net was a small white rabbit with red eyes.  It seemed softer and more petit than most of the local vermin, but Archie figured it would at least be worth a good meal tonight.  Just as he was ready to club the little hopper into its final rest, the rabbit stopped struggling, turned to look straight at him, and what happened next was something that Archie just simply couldn’t believe.

“Well this is pyoning embarrassing.  Could you please give me a hand-pyon?” The rabbit stated in an adorably cute and squeaky voice.

Archie dropped his club in surprise, “Wh-what’s going on?  Rabbits don’t talk!”

“I’m not any ordinary bunny-pyon, my name is Snuffles and if you help me out of this pyoning fix, I’ll be you friend for life and even give you something nice-pyon,” the cute rabbit begged with its crimson eyes wide open in an adorable expression that would’ve melted the heart of anyone who appreciates cuteness.

Archie didn’t want to have anything to do with this pale creature, but there was something about its eyes that made him feel unusually merciful.  He sighed as he began to untangle the branch from Snuffles’s foot.  After a few celebratory bouts of hopping around Archie accompanied by a symphony of “pyon-pyon,” he turned to leave, hoping to get the weird episode out of his mind.

“Wait-pyon!” Snuffles squeaked as she hopped up beside him.  “I still owe you something for saving me-pyon.”

Archie stopped and knelt down in front of his new shadow, “Alright, if you insist.”  At this point, he was willing to do almost anything to get the fur ball to stop messing with his perception of how things should be.

“Hold out your hand-pyon.”

When Archie did as Snuffles requested, she jumped, spun once in the air, and a small object fell into his palm.  Archie inspected his gift curiously.  It looked like a small carrot, but upon closer inspection, it was actually a tube of pearl-white lipstick.  Archie awkwardly looked at Snuffles, who was giving him another cute, wide-eyed look.

“Uh, thanks.  I uh, really appreciate it,” Archie stammered trying to sound polite.  He was a little surprised at himself for doing so.  Normally, he would’ve gone into a rant about how a tube of lipstick was not an appropriate gift for a guy and would’ve cussed Snuffles out.  “Actually,” Archie thought to himself, “I normally would’ve at least started skinning and preparing this rabbit for supper by now.”

Oddly not having the heart to throw it away, Archie stuffed the tube in the front pocket of his overalls as he prepared to start pulling matured carrots with Snuffles following closely behind.  “I don’t want you nibbling away at my crops,” he warned her as he began to get to work.

“Don’t worry, I don’t steal from friends-pyon,” Snuffles assured him.  “In fact, I can even make those carrots grow to pyon sizes for you-pyon.”

Archie looked at her in disbelief.  Sure this was no ordinary bunny, but what she was proposing was something else entirely.  Almost as if she knew what he would say next, Snuffles began jumping around the carrot field and rhythmatically chanting ”pyon pyon.”  As she did so, sparks of white light emanated from each point she landed and began to soak into the soil.  Archie rubbed his eyes in disbelief as the field began to glow golden.  Small tremors began shake the earth and the plants rapidly expanded.  As they did so, they started to push themselves up and out of the soil.  In no time at all, there were over 50 carrots, each at least 18 in. long and 4 in. thick on top, ready to be bundled for a trip to the local market.

Archie was so stunned by the development that he could only laugh, “Well, I guess I can spare a carrot or two if you’re hungry.  Would you like to accompany me into town?”  Snuffles was overjoyed at his invitation and promptly hopped on Archie’s shoulder and nuzzled his cheek with a ”pyooon.”  Archie smiled and returned the favor by scratching behind her ears.  “Maybe having her around won’t be so bad after all,” he thought to himself.

It was only a ten-minute walk into town, but Archie was glad to have the company on his way to the market.  Snuffles was careful to stay close to the tall grass at the side of the road in case anyone spotted her.

“So where are you from?” Archie asked.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you-pyon.”

“You’ve already blown away my expectations twice.  I can’t help but be curious,” the farmer confessed, hoping to get more out of her.

“I have quite a pyon mission that I need to accomplish-pyon,” Snuffles began to explain.  “A Great Wrong needs to be righted and to do so, I needed to pyon around until I found the chosen one who could help me.  I believe that you may actually be the object of my search-pyon.“

Archie couldn’t help but chuckle, “What could a simple farmer do?”

“Far more than you realize-pyon.  Don’t worry, with my instruction, you will be the greatest pyon in all the land,” Snuffles reassured him with a twinkle in her eye.

“Then I accept your invitation to become your student, O Wise Teacher,” Archie joked as he did a gentleman’s bow, unable to keep from chortling.

When the two friends finally arrived at the Kaninchen market, something was amiss.  Granted, the town was small and even busy times were relatively quiet, but the streets seemed flat out abandoned.  The thick silence that lingered in the air did not sit right with either of them and Archie felt a strange chill go down the length of his spine.

Suddenly, a pair of thunderously booming footsteps broke the silence.  Snuffles’s ears and fur stood on end while Archie tried to pinpoint the source.

THUD!
THUD!!
THUD!!!

Whatever it was, it was big and getting closer.  Archie took a glance to his right and almost lost all bowel and bladder control.  Stepping out from behind a nearby building was a creature unlike anything he had ever seen.  It appeared to be a solid, bulky humanoid shadow at least 15 feet high.  In its right hand was a gigantic club while it’s left held a large, round shield.  Both armaments appeared to share the same composition as their wielder.  It was bipedal with its legs and feet resembling large, dark, trunks and its only other distinguishing characteristic was a pair of large, glowing, solid yellow eyes situated on the lump that was apparently its head.

“The dark shadows have found us-pyon.  Hurry and transform!” Snuffles ordered as the giant creature fixated on her and drew its club, ready to attack.

“Transform?  What in tarnation are you talking about?” Archie yelled back as he dropped his load and ran alongside Snuffles, the large shadow began to chase the duo with its club wildly swinging in the wind.

“The time has come to (THUD!) unleash your (WHOOSH!) true powers-pyon-pyon,” the frantic rabbit tried to explain while barely dodging the shadow’s assault.  Despite their best efforts to escape, whatever this thing was, it was easily able to match their place.  Archie and Snuffles quickly cut across the road and into a nearby field, their pursuer following closely behind.

Suddenly, CRASH!  CLONK!  GROOOOAN!  The shadow had tripped on a small ditch and fell forward, almost pancaking Archie and Snuffles in the process.  The fatigued farmer was unscathed, but too freaked out by the close call to even move.  Snuffles jumped into his chest, knocking him off balance.

“Quick, use the Carrot Stick before it gets up-pyon,” she frantically ordered.  Archie just stared blankly at her; he had no idea what she meant.  Just as he was about to ready his retort, Snuffles’s eyes flashed for a second.

His body suddenly got up of its own will and pulled the lipstick out of his pocket.  The creature was beginning to stir. Archie watched in shock as his hands opened up and twisted the tube, revealing the pearl white gloss.  As if it had known how to do so for years, Archie’s hand applied the shade to his lips.  Almost immediately, he heard himself shout, “Cutey beauty hopping through!” as his free hand gestured in a femininely flirty fashion and blew a kiss.

Suddenly, Archie became enveloped in a world of light and his form began to morph as his clothes vanished.  The humanoid blob of light that he had become stretched out in length until his former 5 ft. 8in. frame was 6 ft. 2 in.  As his body grew, his arms and legs thinned to match while his hands became petit and his feet turned dainty.  Archie’s chest ballooned into CC cups while his waist and lower back curved inwards and his hips and rear ballooned outward, engulfing his manhood in the process and leaving her with a prominent hourglass figure.

A strange wind seemed to come out of nowhere and blew across Archie’s face, causing her chin to become pointed, her nose to shrink, her eyes and lips to expand slightly, and her shoulders and Adam’s apple to recede.  The gale suddenly shifted upwards and Archie’s hair vastly lengthened to join it, turning from dark brown to pure white as it did so.  Archie then opened her eyes, which had changed from blue to red, and began to twirl around in the wind.

A bright pink, sleeveless, leotard-like top formed tightly over her chest and stomach, stopping just shy of her neck where a pink choker with a red heart materialized.  Red ribbons tied into large bows appeared atop both of her shoulders while an even larger one formed at the base of her back.  White tights covered Archie’s legs and lower half as she flitted and floated around in the strange space.

Another wind blew across the former man, ruffling a newly formed white, pleated miniskirt with pink stripes along the upper and lower borders in the process.  After it died down, the back of the miniskirt opened up and a white, fluffy bunny tail poked through.  Archie began to repeatedly kick upward as white, furry leg warmers wrapped around her calves and a pair of red pumps with 3 in. heels situated themselves on her feet.

Returning to an upright position, Archie spread her arms out to her sides and then crossed them in front of her.  More wind wrapped around them, materializing a pair of white, elbow-length gloves with pink palms.

Archie then started to generate a tornado of her own, spinning violently as she did so.  A golden tiara with a carrot symbol emblazoned in the middle formed on her forehead as her human ears receded, subsequently replaced by a pair of white, floppy, foot-long bunny ears with pink interiors.  As the winds started to die down, pearl-white eyeshadow appeared on Archie’s face to complement her matching lips.

Suddenly, the twirling winds were replaced by a sudden downdraft that developed a firm hold on Archie’s long, flowing hair.  It was rapidly reshaped into ankle-length twin tails originating from the outer sides of her new ears.  Carrot orange ribbons appeared and tightly bound Archie’s long locks in a double helix pattern which, when combined with the newly formed, green, leaf-like ribbons at the top of the twin tails, almost made it look like she had two long, thin carrots attached to her head.

Once all the changes were in place, the last of the light on the new girl’s body dissipated and she jumped high into the air, rolling rapidly as she did so.  Upon descending, she landed squarely on her feet with her legs perfectly straight and her arms reaching above her head.  Immediately, the new magical girl went into a reverse cartwheel before jumping backwards, locking herself in a rapid spin.

“The end of evil is just a hop, skip, and pyon away,” she proudly declared as she propelled herself forward, landing in the splits.  With a wide grin on her face and her arms stretched outward, she continued her intro, “I’m Bonky Bunny-pyon!”
 
The world of light disappeared and Bonky Bunny regained control of herself.

“Pyon?” she wondered as she tried to contemplate what just happened to her.  

“Pyon-pyon?”  Bonky Bunny noticed the new weight on her chest and curiously began to inspect it.  Hoping that this was just some sort of prank, she placed her hand under her top and came finger-to-lace with a brassier.  A dreading thought entered her head and the girl formerly known as Archie checked between her legs and found that her manhood had gone AWOL. Beginning to panic, she then hobbled over to the ditch and came across a puddle of water that was happy to show her her new reflection.  A loud, screechy “PYOOON!” was subsequently heard across several acres.

“Bonky Bunny, we need to hurry-pyon,” Snuffles urgently called out to the new mahou shoujo.  “At three seconds, your transformation took pyoning forever.”

“What the pyon did you do to me?”  Bonky Bunny demanded in her new, smooth, and higher feminine voice.  “I look like some pyon college girl that lost a bet-pyon.”

In her anger, Bonky Bunny removed her forehead tiara and tossed it at Snuffles.  It fell limp just short of its target.  The small, white rabbit grabbed the tiara in her teeth and quickly tossed it back up onto Bonky Bunny’s forehead.  “What was that supposed to be-pyon?” Snuffles frustratingly barked.  “You’re the legendary Bonky Bunny, a magical girl-pyon.  What kind of magical girl uses her pyoning tiara as a weapon?”

Meanwhile, while Snuffles was ranting at Bonky Bunny, the giant shadow had slowly managed to right itself and was readying its club for another attack.  The pair’s arguing was suddenly cut short as a deafening GROOOAAN filled the air, followed by a piercing WHOOSH and a subsequent SMASH!  As the club crashed into the ground, Snuffles had safely leapt out of the way while Bonky Bunny instinctively jumped straight upward.  However, she was unaware of her newly increased strength and ended up 500 feet into the air with a deafening shriek of “PYOOOOON!”  Suddenly becoming the only target, Snuffles desperately hopped around trying to avoid the oversized club that the shadow was trying to introduce her to.

WHOOSH!
“Pyon”
A horizontal swing clearly missed its target.

SLICE!
”Pyon”
A vertical swing came a lot closer to connecting than Snuffles would’ve liked.

“Pyow!” a sudden thrust clipped Snuffles in the foot and sent her crashing to the ground.  The shadow was readying a final blow when a familiar, screeching “PYOOON!” echoed from above.  It turned around in curiosity and looked up just in time for its eyes to meet the business end of Bonky Bunny’s heels as she plummeted from her previous jump.  The shock knocked the creature unconscious while its assailant landed squarely on her feet, her nose and right eye twitching from almost going into orbit.

“Excellent job-pyon!” Snuffles congratulated her.  “Now hurry up and banish it before it wakes up-pyon.”

“P-pyon,” Bonky Bunny uttered as she recovered from her latest adventure.  After taking a few moments to take everything in, she turned to Snuffles and her ears drooped as she exhaustively stated, “Let’s let the town guard take it from here-pyon.”

“Do you really think they can handle something as pyon as this?”  Snuffles replied in surprise.  “You’re a chosen one-pyon!  It’s your duty to take on monsters like this and save the day-pyon!”

“I wasn’t expecting to be a pyoning woman, much less one that’s part bunny-pyon,” Bonky Bunny retorted.  “Now change me back.  I don’t want anyone to see me like this-pyon.”
 
Snuffles sighed and leapt up to Bonky Bunny’s face, kissing her on the lips.  A pillar of light erupted around them and then disappeared as quickly as it had formed, leaving behind the hilarious scene of a middle-aged man making out with a tiny white rabbit.  Archie was not even sure whether or not it was all a dream.  Upon returning to town, he was relieved to see that his load had remained undisturbed and immediately set off toward the market to sell his wares; neither Archie nor Snuffles said anything to each other for the rest of the afternoon.

By the time Archie had finished with his errands in town, the sun was already beginning to set.  As they started to head back to his farm, the two happened across Whistler’s, the local tavern.  Normally Archie wouldn’t have minded stopping in for a quick one, but he was still shaken up over the sudden gender change he had experienced earlier in the day and wanted to put things behind him as quickly as possible.  At the same time, a nagging fear refused to be ignored.

“Where are you going-pyon?” Snuffles asked, breaking the awkward silence that had lasted since Archie turned back to normal.

“I just wanna check the local grapevine and find out whether anyone knows anything about that shadow or happened to see us earlier,” Archie explained as he headed towards the pub.

“All right, but no drinkies while you’re on duty-pyon,” Snuffles warned with a stern look in her eye.

“And risk blabbing that I was a pretty girl with bunny ears capable of jumping into orbit?” Archie replied with a “Did you seriously just say that?” look in his eye.  “I think I’ll pass on that humiliation.  They probably don’t allow talking bunnies inside, so why don’t you take a look around town?  I won’t be long.”  Snuffles nodded in agreement and hopped away with a “pyon-pyon” as Archie entered the doorway.

The bouncy piano playing in the back echoed throughout the place and set a festive mood. Whistler’s wasn’t a high-class place, but it was also far from seedy and considered by the locals as a great place to hang out and unwind.

“Hey Archie, over here!”  Archie looked toward the source of the noise and saw a pair of middle-aged men sitting at a round oak table in the middle of the room.  He smiled as he went over to his old friends, Zeke and Steven.

“Hey, long time no see,” Archie greeted them as he occupied a spare seat.

“How about a quick round?” Zeke offered.

“Maybe next time,” Archie politely declined.  “I’m kinda shaken up over that thing that appeared in town today.”

“You saw it too, huh?” Steven inquired.

“Yeah, something that big’s kinda hard to miss.”

“At least it just prowled the streets,” Steven added.  “Once everyone high-tailed it inside, it just left us alone.  At least until that bunny girl showed up.”

Archie’s hair stood on end.  Could someone have seen him?  “What do you mean by a bunny girl?” he asked, trying to hide his nervousness.

“Don’t pay attention to this old coot,” Zeke interjected.  “When the shadow started running away, he decided to grow a pair and tail it.  Now he’ll tell anyone who listens this tall tale of a bunny girl that fell from the sky right on top of the mysterious creature’s head.”

“You don’t say,” Archie replied as sweat started to form on his brow.

“I’m not making it up!” Steven objected.  “Surely you can back me up, Archie.  I saw you rushing away from whatever that strange light that caused her to disappear was.”

“Uh, I did see the light, but I didn’t see no bunny girl,” Archie lied, praying that Steven would just drop the subject.

“Whatever you old coots,” Zeke skeptically commented.  “Speaking of rabbits though, I heard you turned quite a few heads at the market with your carrots, Archie.  What’s your secret?”

“I’m not too sure of that myself,” Archie confessed; he was glad to take any topic could lead away from Bonky Bunny.  “They just grew on me.”

“Maybe it was that rabbit I saw running with you,” Steven suggested.  “What if that bunny girl was actually some sort of magical carrot fairy come to give us a good harvest?”

The three sat silently for several seconds before bursting with laughter.  “Okay, that was good,” Zeke admitted.  “Maybe we should feign that the next time some high and mighty city slicker starts sticking his nose in our business.”

“The giant shadow should be good enough.  I wasn’t finished with my tale, by the way,” Steven explained as Archie curiously glanced at him.

“You wanna hear the rest?” Steven inquired.  Archie nodded while Zeke excused himself to use the facilities.  “After you and that rabbit headed back to town, that shadow thing got back up.  It seemed really angry, too,” Steven continued.  “Its eyes turned from yellow to red at then it started to head towards town, fading away as it did so.”

Suddenly, a distinctive series of thuds started to echo in the distance as the entire pub hushed to a dead silence.  SLAM!  The door burst open and Snuffles frantically hopped through and slipped under Archie’s and his friends’ table.  As the rumbles grew louder, Archie went under the table and discreetly whispered, ”Is it that thing again?”

“It’s attacking the town-pyon.  You’re the only one that stands a pyon of a chance against it.  Please get rid of it-pyon,” Snuffles pleaded amidst her trembling.

“What do you think you’re doing?  That thing’s probably just outside the door!” Steven yelled as Archie made a swift exit.

THUD!
THUD!!
THUD!!!

Sure enough, the giant shadow was back, and it was ticked.  Archie dived out of the way as whatever type of creature this was approached the tavern.  Ignoring the frightened farmer, it stopped directly in front of the building and emitted a loud, low GROOOWWL!  After the third GROOOWWL, it readied its club and swung hard against Whistler’s.  The building was sturdy, but Archie knew it would be quickly reduced to rubble with his friends inside if nothing was done soon.  Desperate to save his friends, the concept of fear became foreign to Archie as he shouted profanities and tossed small pebbles at the creature, hoping to divert its attention.  Unfortunately, it continued to bash the bar, paying him no heed.  The sides of the building were beginning to buckle and parts of the roof had already collapsed.

Archie knew of only one option left for him to stop the monster’s rampage.  “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” he muttered to himself as he opened the carrot-shaped lipstick tube.  The gloss flawlessly glided onto his lips and after yelling out ” Cutey beauty hopping through!” Archie blew a kiss and began to transform once again.  Within 2.5 seconds, there was a very well proportioned girl with red eyes and long, white hair wearing a pink, leotard-like top, white miniskirt and tights, red pumps, white gloves with pink palms, a pink heart choker, and various ribbons where Archibald Ralphentine once stood.

“That’s far enough-pyon,” Bonky Bunny shouted at the shadow.  Unlike before, it immediately stopped what it was doing and looked at her with contempt.  Bonky Bunny was about to follow her first instinct and cower away, but instead suddenly stepped forward and defiantly declared, “You evil pyon who dares to interrupt the free time of others, you make happiness cry-pyon.  In the name of Snuffles, I, Bonky Bunny am here to pound you pyon.”  Not only was the novice magical girl surprised at her own words, but she had apparently ended her little spiel by smiling and winking at the creature that was apparently gearing up to rend her limb from limb.

WHOOSH!

The giant shadow club sliced through the air, narrow avoiding Bonky Bunny as she hopped out of the way.  The creature uttered a ROOOAR, its eyes glowing a fierce red as it did so.  The club it was carrying rapidly thickened from a baton-like shape to a spike-littered equivalent of a weapon commonly associated with prehistoric cavemen.  The shadow then swung at Bonky Bunny once more with far greater force and speed.  The recoil winds ripped through the surrounding buildings as she desperately tried to stay one step ahead, panting “pyon-pyon” as she did so.

“Call your weapon-pyon!” Snuffles shouted as she emerged from the mostly destroyed tavern.

“What do you mean-pyon?” Bonky Bunny yelled back as she stared into Snuffles’s eyes out of desperation.

Much to her surprise, Bonky Bunny stopped right in her tracks and held her right arm straight up into the air.  A loud cry of “Pyon-Pyon Hammer” escaped her lips and a bright pink rod of light appeared in her hand.  The rod began to lengthen downwards and once there was enough room to do so, Bonky Bunny saw her left hand grasp that portion for support.  Next, to her surprise, a yellow orb appeared atop the pink light rod and suddenly turned into a chibi-style bunny head.  The head boinged up and down atop its perch with a series of “pyon-pyon’s” as its ears flopped up and down in an adorable fashion.  After a few seconds, the bunny head bounced even higher and landed on top of the rod, teeth first.  When its incisors made contact, a blinding flash of light engulfed the immediate area.  The flash quickly dissipated and Bonky Bunny was now holding onto a two-handed mallet with the handle and vastly oversized head colored in a pink motif with yellow borders and carrot insignias on the head’s ends.  Instinctively, Bonky Bunny rapidly spun the huge hammer clockwise like a baton and slammed the ground in front of her, resulting in a loud SQUEAK from the mallet.  She then continued to rapidly spin it counterclockwise before holding it straight up into the air, causing the pink tool of potential destruction to emit another loud SQUEAK!  Against her will, let alone better judgement, Bonky Bunny subsequently twirled the tool horizontally above her head, causing it to emit rapid pulses of SQUEAK!  She then proceeded to toss it up into the air before catching it in a ready-to-use stance.

“1.2 seconds, not bad-pyon.” Snuffles called out from her hiding place.  Bonky Bunny was astonished and skeptical at the same time about her new weapon.  Pinkness aside, it felt sturdy, light, and very natural to wield.  However, the fact that despite its size, it was actually a squeaky hammer was not very reassuring.

WHOOSH!

The shadow had finally resumed its attack and almost succeeded in clipping the magical girl.  Unlike her previous trip into orbit through, Bonky Bunny only leapt 30 feet into the air and was able to land gracefully behind her monstrous opponent.

“Did you see that Snuffles?  I did it-pyon!  I soared like a perfect pyon!” Bonky Bunny ecstatically called out as she giggled and hopped in place while her ears flopped repeatedly from the movement.

ROAR!  The shadow quickly turned around and began its assault anew.  WHOOSH!  SQUEAK!  The furious swing of its club was successfully blocked by the Pyon-Pyon Hammer.  Overjoyed at her latest success, Bonky Bunny pyoned over to Snuffles and giddily exclaimed, ”This hammer is the sweetest-pyon.  Thank you so much, Snuffles.  How about we go out for carrot smoothies to celebrate-pyon-pyon?”

“Watch out-pyon!” Snuffles screeched as the creature’s oversized club came crashing down from above.  Bonky Bunny immediately reacted and countered with an uppercut from her hammer.  With a loud SQUEAK, the attack was successfully blocked and their opponent had been thrown off balance.

“You’ve got a monster to pyon, celebrating can wait,” Snuffles lectured.

“Oh, right!  I forgot-pyon,” Bonky Bunny sheepishly giggled before turning to the assaulting apparition.

Suddenly, both she and the shadow were surrounded by an orange expanse with carrots flitting around on the horizon.  Bonky Bunny immediately tossed the Pyon-Pyon Hammer into the air, where it began to rapidly spin vertically as one SQUEAK after another was rapidly heard in quick succession.  As the pink mallet spun faster and faster, the head began to glow a bright orange.  This was what Bonky Bunny had been waiting for.  She quickly jumped up, grabbed the mallet, and readied a hammer slam for her descent.  

BOOM!

As her hammer impacted the ground, a focused shockwave of orange energy erupted and began to charge toward the shadow.  Bonky Bunny immediately leapt high up once again and readied another downward swing.

BOOOM!!

She landed with the hammer impacting the focused shockwave squarely in the middle, amplifying its size and strength in the process.  She wasn’t done yet though, and leapt even higher into the air to ready yet another strike.

BOOOOM!!!

Another direct hit amplified the energy to truly massive proportions as it aggressively rushed at its target.  Bonky Bunny leapt to her highest apex yet, but instead of the usual slam, she kept the hammer over her head.

BOOOOOM!!!!

Instead of hitting the shockwave dead center, Bonky Bunny had hit it more from the front.  The resulting collision had diverted the wave and it was forced underground in a U-shaped vector and surfaced behind her.  As Bonky Bunny leapt toward the energy, which was now an intensely orange orb, she readied another swing, causing the hammer’s head to expand to three times its original size as the handle lengthened to match.  Landing atop the orange sphere, she jumped even higher.  As Bonky Bunny did a half spin and readied herself for a croquet-style underhand swing, she called out the name of her fierce, ferocious, and flashy finisher:

“STRINGY CARROT SLUMBER PARTY!”

Bonky Bunny subsequently aimed carefully and hit the orb with full force.  The shadow was hit dead on, strangely yelling out “I can see the truth!” as it was obliterated.

“Pyon! I did it Snuffles!  I pyoning did it!” Bonky Bunny cheered as she gleefully skipped around celebrating her victory.

“Not a bad start-pyon,” Snuffles willingly admitted, “but it’s not over yet.  The door is opening-pyon.”  Bonky Bunny watched in awe as an anomaly began to form.  With a low hum, a small light gray dot appeared where the giant creature once stood.  The spot slowly started to expand while the humming increased in intensity, until it formed an 8 ft. diameter 2D circle.

“That portal leads to the Inverse-pyon,” Snuffles explained.  That’s where that thing came from.  Now that one of the evil pyon shadows has fallen, they will be launching attacks from there.  We can use this portal to stop them for good, but for now, you’ve earned some rest-pyon.”  With that, Snuffles leapt toward and smooched Bonky Bunny on the lips, turning her back into Archie.  As he frantically went to inspect the rubble that used to be Whistler’s, Snuffles somehow rolled up and tucked away the portal to the Inverse.

“So where’s the hopping hottie, Steven?  I don’t see her anywhere.”

“Dagnabbit, she disappeared on me again.  I’m telling you Zeke, she’s real.”

Archie looked up to see his two friends completely unharmed.  “Zeke!  Steven!” he joyfully exclaimed as he ran over and embraced his pals. “I saw the shadow destroy the tavern.  How did you two survive?”

“The owner, Mr. McNeill, evacuated everyone out the rear entrance shortly after you high-tailed it out the front,” Zeke explained.  “Steven went back to find you, but then rushed back like a madman claiming to have seen the bunny fairy again.”

“I keep telling you she’s real!” Steven defended.  “She was getting her butt handed to her at first, but then this huge, pink hammer popped out of nowhere.  She must’ve finished that monster off and left before we got here.  You surely must’ve seen her Archie.  Be a pal and back me up!”

“I, uh saw something,” Archie hesitantly stated,  “but I was fixated more on the giant shadow thing.  By the time I noticed the other figure, she had disappeared through this weird, gray circle or portal,” he lied through his teeth.

“See, Zeke?  I told you she was real!” Steven triumphantly bragged.

“Whatever, you’re still an old coot,” Zeke coldly replied.  All three were silent for a few seconds before simultaneously bursting with laughter.

After everyone said their goodbyes, Archie began to head home with Snuffles discreetly following.  “So I’m going to have to do that all again, huh?” Archie quietly asked Snuffles.

“Someone has to-pyon. Besides,” Snuffles continued, “you’ve already made an enemy of the dark shadows of the Inverse-pyon.  Until we right the Great Wrong, they will remain a constant threat to both of us-pyon.”

Archie reflected on his time as Bonky Bunny.  It was certainly awkward at first, but strangely enough, he was genuinely enjoying it.  Even though he was starting to act a bit like an airhead, it was still extremely fun and he was able to turn back to normal in a flash.

“I guess I can live with that,” he admitted as they continued on their way back to his farm.

===========================

Inside the dimly lit room from the different, but parallel time and space:

“Fine, let’s hear it,” Mr. Derris quietly grumbled as Dr. Strudelclonker began to softly explain, careful not to incur his boss’s wrath.

“My information is somewhat limited right now, but I have already sent Dr. Miller to check on things.  I’ve already confirmed that a TFTG effect has already occurred on a very large scale.”

Suddenly, the door burst open, greatly brightening Mr. Derris’s office in the process, as a man that looked to be in his twenties with blonde hair, a thin beard and mustache, light blue eyes, and a large, white lab coat charged in with a frightened expression on his face.  “Dr. Strudelclonker, Mr. Derris, I’m sorry for interrupting you like this, but things may be worse off than we thought!” he frantically stated in a panicked tone.

“Jeez, Miller!  What part of ‘I have a splitting migraine’ don’t you people understand?  Close the door already and lower your voice!” Mr. Derris snapped at the new arrival.

“Sorry Sir, but this couldn’t wait,” Dr. Miller apologized as he complied with the head of the SOCC’s request.  He knew that it was the migraine talking.

“Anyway, what did you find out?” Dr. Strudelclonker asked his subordinate.

“There’s something big going on,” Dr. Stan “Christina” Miller began to explain.  I first thought something was amiss when I discovered evidence that that world’s Umbral Guardian had been destroyed.”

The head honcho, Drake “Rachel” Derris, looked up a bit upon hearing this bit of news.  “Who would go after an Umbral Guardian?  They may look like menacing 15 ft. shadows, but they’re usually harmless and stay out of the way unless they’re attacked or perceive a threat to the world they’re guarding.”

“I’m not sure at this point,” Dr. Miller admitted, “but I can confirm that it was indeed destroyed at least several weeks ago according to that world’s time.  However, someone let the magic smoke out of the box and things rapidly got hairier from there in more ways than one.”

“What do you mean?” the SOCC’s Head of Miscellaneous and Interdepartmental Investigation, Dr. Clint “Clara” Strudelclonker, inquired.

“All of the residents of that world have been transformed in both mind and body,” Dr. Miller continued.  “With one exception, every single person is now an anthromorphic bunny girl.  They all seem to worship and revere a lone usamimi that almost always seems to have a talking white bunny with red eyes beside her.  I can’t ascertain much more about her at this time beyond the fact that this usamimi may be some sort of magical girl and sometimes wields what looks like an oversized, pink squeaky hammer.”

“Can you determine anything about the change rate and scope?” Dr. Strudelclonker inquired.

“As I have said previously,“ Dr. Miller replied, “that world is completely converted.  The change rate seemed to be sudden and quick, but fortunately, local technology doesn’t include trans-dimensional capabilities.  I have noticed unexplained dimensional anomalies that make me feel uneasy, though.”

“This seems like a little lower priority than you’ve made it out to be Dr. Strudelclonker,” Mr. Derris stepped in.  “A routine quarantine protocol should work, but next time Dr. Monoe makes a request to explore such a world and look for new tricks for her arsenal, could you please tell her to be a little more patient?”

“The source of the request is the very reason that this is so urgent, Sir,” Dr. Strudelclonker explained.  “Dr. Mimi K. Monoe did not put us up to this, nor did anyone else from the Peppermint Foundation.”

Despite the excruciating pain he was in, this bit of news still piqued Mr. Derris’s curiosity, “If it wasn’t the Peppermint Foundation, who sent the request?”

“I can still hardly believe it myself, Sir,” Dr. Strudelclonker confessed, “but the request came to us from the Spearmint Society.”

A sudden hush fell over the room as Mr. Derris looked as his subordinates/comrades in disbelief while the strange eye that had been watching them from the shadows widened with similar surprise.